"Are You a Little Seasick, Gabrielle?"
By Skya Wode
Disclaimers:
The characters of Xena and Gabrielle belong to Universal and Renaissance Pictures, and whoever else owns them these days. No copyright infringement is intended, and this is all in fan fun. No profit will be made from this story of the Warrior Princess and her Battlin' Bard. The story, however, comes from the little voices in my head, and I own the copyright.
Love/Sex Warning: Alt. Fiction. This story depicts a love/sexual relationship between two consenting adult women. If you are under 18 years of age or if this type of story is illegal in the state or country in which you live, please do not read it. If stories of two consenting adult women in love disturb you, you may wish to leave now. It won't hurt my feelings. Go read something else. Come back when you grow up. For the rest of you, if you are looking for a lot of graphic lesbian sex, it ain't gonna happen! Not this time. We do know that Xena and Gabrielle are doin' it and we all know how it's done. So use your imagination.
Comments, feedback, and constructive criticism may be sent to wodin@hotmail.com. Thank you.
© 26 November 2001 (Revision ©17 December 2001)
By the gods I was sick. The great storm on the ocean kept that dinky little ship pitching into deep valleys and up steep mountains of water. This was my worst case of seasickness...ever! And all Xena would say was: "Are you a little seasick, Gabrielle? Ya think you’d be used to these ocean voyages by now." I could have killed her if she wasn't dead already!
Yes, dead. Xena was still dead; still a ghost. However, I could see her, and I could touch her, and I could hear her voice, and, I could feel her warm body, and I could smell her wonderful fragrance, and we could make love, and, well, I guess I was getting used to her being a ghost. But, dammit, Xena still teased me about my seasickness. I would barf up my toenails and still she would just laugh and make fun of me. Oh, but then she would turn mushy, kiss the top of my head and say things like: "My poor love, I shouldn’t tease you so much. I’m sorry." She could be so sweet and tender sometimes. As a ghost, Xena hadn’t really changed that much, not as far as I could see. However, I was the only one who could see her. The ship's crew was looking at me, thinking I was a real nut case, you know, talking to myself. Oh well, I let them think I was crazy, because they left me alone. Alone with my Xena.
Looking back, the thing I noticed most about Xena being a ghost was that her features had softened. Gone were the furrows on her forehead and the little worry groves that formed between her eyes. Xena wasn’t as worried about things that worried her when she was alive. When she was alive, Xena constantly worried about someone trying to hurt or kill those close to her; people she loved. But, since her death there would be no more warlord wannabes lining up to kill her. I guess you could say Xena was finally at peace.
Once she got used to being a ghost, Xena let her silly side come out to play. Oh, she would do things that would just infuriate me. Her practical jokes drove me nuts. Like, for instance, I would be talking to her and she would just...poof!...disappear! I hated when she did that, because I really would be talking to myself. Then, all of a sudden, she would be standing behind me, tapping me on the shoulder, looking all innocent and angelic, like nothing was wrong. Dammit, I would get so mad at her. But at least she came back to me, and that was the most important thing. Xena once promised she would never leave me, even in death, and she has kept that promise. She is mine, all mine now, and my love for her grows deeper and stronger with the passing of each day. Every night I love feeling safe, snuggling in her warm arms. Xena may be a ghost, but, to me, she certainly does not feel like one.
************
After what seemed like endless months at sea, our ship finally arrived in Egypt. By the gods, it was wonderful to be on dry land again. Xena said she was surprised I wasn’t kissing the ground this time. It was a beautiful day and the sun was hot, but a cool breeze kept the air from being stale. Dock workers were hustling, unloading and loading ships with cargo, treasures, birds and animals from all over the world. Egypt had changed little from the last time we were here (which was a time in our lives I'd rather forget, but that's another story).
Walking into the city, I smelled food, different and exotic foods. The smells stirred my appetite, making me salivate and my tummy growl, as usual. Of course, Xena gave me a good ribbing while I sampled and savored everything until I found what I was looking for. At an out of the way food stall I found a great nutbread. I guess that was what I'd been searching for, and since it had been ages since I had any nutbread, I purchased enough to last me several days. I really love nutbread!
We looked around the city until we found an inn which seemed relatively clean and safe, although I wasn't particularly worried about my safety. I wore my sais, carried Xena's sword on my back, her chakram at my waist, and carried myself with confidence. Those who had any thoughts of confronting me quickly changed their minds when I gave them the look. I'd been practicing the look for several years, and I think I had it perfected, although nobody could give the look as threatening as Xena.
Xena and I settled into a cozy room with a good view of the city and I had a tub of bath water brought up. The water felt heavenly and Xena, naturally, got into the tub with me. Being a ghost, Xena didn't have to bathe because she didn't get dirty, but that was beside the point of our bathing together. She performed her wonderful magic, rubbing my feet and sore muscles. I told her that's why I kept her around. "Only as a masseuse, not as a lover?" she teased, raising an eyebrow at me. Well, that led to an obligatory testing of the bed, which was very enjoyable. On the ship there had only been hammocks, no beds. So this bed was luxurious, as were Xena's loving ministrations to me.
************
After a few inquiries, it didn't take long for me to locate Amykos, the wealthy Greek merchant who had hired me. When our ship was docked in India, I sent him my confirmation to his job offer. Amykos greeted me in his luxurious office and had tea and fruits served by his assistant. While we were discussing my assignment, he kept staring at me with a puzzled look on his face. I asked if there was something wrong, and he apologized for his rudeness. He explained that he'd been told I'd be tall with long black hair. I just flashed him an agreeable smile and told him that happened to me all the time. It's a good thing Amykos couldn't hear Xena laughing, and I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing with her. I know it sounds strange to say this, but since becoming a ghost she laughed a lot, and her belly laughs were very infectious.
Amykos' job for me was to deliver his daughter to a small kingdom west of Egypt. She was to be married to the king's youngest son. The marriage had been arranged three years earlier when the boy accompanied his eldest brother, the crown prince, on a trip to Egypt. The merchant wanted to be sure the wedding party arrived in an undamaged condition. I was to command a small army, which consisted of armed escorts, the bride's companions, cooks, servants, and a large herd of camels transporting trunks and bags of gold, silver, jewels, silks and other treasures which comprised her dowry.
Xena said this job looked like it was going to be more like a vacation than a job. "A great big sandy beach vacation, lots of sand but no water for fish," she said, with a wistful look on her face. "I miss fishing...." Xena would have given almost anything to be able to fish again. Since she couldn't hold a fishing pole, being a ghost, fishing was a thing of the past. If she couldn't hold a chakram, she couldn't hold a fishing pole. Thank the Goddess she could hold me, though.
The first part of the journey took us across more shifting sand dunes than I ever want to see again the rest of my life. I told Xena that when this job was finished we would return to solid land, and never see another sand dune...ever...period! And you know what she did? Yep, you guessed it, she just laughed!
After what seemed like an eternity in the desert we finally arrived at a large oasis, the mid-point on the journey. The date palms were plentiful for shade and flowers perfumed the entire area. There was water, fresh, sweet water. After drinking water out of animal skins, I don't think I tasted sweeter water in my life. The entourage settled down for a few days rest. Tents were set up on the lush green and a wonderful feast was prepared. The feasting and the fragrance of the flowers, the music and women bellydancing relaxed and inspired me. I was very eager to lie down on the pillows with my lover. I excused myself and returned to our tent, prepared for bed and waited for Xena. She had disappeared earlier in the day, but I wasn't worried. I mean, how can I be worried about Xena’s safety now that she was a ghost. So I lay down and fell asleep waiting for Xena's return.
Morning sunlight warmed the tent as I awoke to soft kisses on my neck. Of course it was Xena. She was smiling that sly little smile she has when she is hiding something from me. It was like when she gave me that scroll with a poem she said was written by Sappho, but I discovered Xena had written it herself. I looked into her deep blue eyes and asked what she was hiding. She shook her head and, with all the innocence she could muster, told me wasn't hiding anything. She said she had spent some time visiting with her mother, who told her to give me a big hug from her, which she did, squishing me. Even as a ghost, Xena worked out every day and her muscles hadn't gone to waste. Well, Xena continued with those soft kisses, which led to more kisses, and then she began stroking my skin and nibbling on my nipples and before you know it we were making love...again...and again. Thank the Goddess, we were staying at the oasis for a few days. I didn't get much rest. Xena's appetite for making love was more insatiable than ever, but, hey, I wasn't complaining.
*********
We completed the journey across the rest of the sand dunes to the small kingdom without any problems. The wedding was extravagant and beautiful. The celebrations and feasting lasted for days. The bride and groom were in love, and it was a good match. I was happy for them and wished them a long happy life together.
Xena and I returned to Egypt for a few weeks vacation. We made love, shopped, made love, ate exotic foods, made love, went to the theatre, made love, visited temples, made love, visited tourist attractions, made love, and finally got all the sand out of all the places sand doesn't belong! I think I enjoyed feasting a little too much, because after a few weeks I was starting to put on weight. I asked Xena if she thought I was getting too fat. She replied that I looked absolutely wonderful to her! Did I mention that she could be so sweet at times?
At last the time came for us to say farewell to Egypt. I collected my belongings and we boarded a small ship bound for Lesbos. Xena wanted to make sure I got to see the great poet Sappho perform before returning home. I told Xena that Sappho would have to be a pretty good poet to make me feel as wonderful as she made me feel when she gave me that beautiful poem on my last birthday. Can you believe that Xena actually blushed when I said that?
We set sail on a very mild late summer day. There were fluffy white clouds in the blue sky and the sea was smooth. The ship's sails wrapped themselves around a comfortable wind and headed for the island of Lesbos. This was the only kind of sailing I could tolerate without resorting to eating raw squid. Gentle. Smooth. I had sailed quite a bit in the last few years and had finally become used to it. Only very rough seas made me seasick.
Xena joined me on the deck to enjoy the sunshine. She was talking about how she would like to paint me. I would be nude with all my freckles showing, and the wind would be blowing my hair. Laughing, I told her that perhaps in our next life she should become an artist and I her model. We giggled thinking about how little art work would be produced with us making love instead of working. The sailors looked my way wondering what I was giggling about. I smiled sweetly at them and pretended to be reading a scroll, while Xena continued to nibble my fingertips.
Without warning, my stomach flip-flopped and I and bolted for the railing, promptly losing all I had eaten that morning. Xena was concerned, for which I was thankful, but I was bewildered as to why I was seasick on such a peaceful voyage. I thought about what I had eaten that morning and the day before. Poison? No. I couldn't think of anyone who would want to poison me. I didn’t think I had any enemies in Egypt. What about the foods I’d been eating? I must admit there were many foods I'd eaten which may have contained something that didn't agree with me. Then I thought that maybe all the events of the past few months were finally catching up with me. I'd never really given into my grief about Xena's death, but it was hard to grieve about her death when she was right there with me, acting very much alive.
I was queasy for awhile, but recovered. I thought I was over whatever made me sick, but the next day I was tossing my nutbread again. Now I was sick, and the sickness continued every day of the voyage. I was beginning to worry about it. And of course, Xena would purse her lips together, put her arms around me and say: "My poor baby, are you a little seasick again?" By the gods, she would infuriate me when she teased me and I was too sick to do anything about it.
When the ship docked in Lesbos, and I was grateful to be on dry land again. I rented a beautiful villa we found, next to Sappho's home and theatre. The view was incredible, overlooking the sea and cliffs, with seabirds soaring looking for fish in the water. The villa came completely stocked with cheeses, fresh fruits, and wines. Xena was pleased with the place. I made a casual suggestion that maybe it would be wonderful to settle down here so I could finally finish my stories. I was surprised when Xena agreed. She actually agreed that it was time for me to work on my scrolls. "Is there a better place to write than on Lesbos with Sappho as our neighbor?" Xena said.
I put my arms around Xena's neck and wept for joy and relief. I needed a rest. I was tired…very tired. I just couldn't continue traveling…not for a while. I was just so tired. I put my head on her lap and fell asleep. The last thing I remembered of that day was that Xena carried me to bed and held me through the night as she kissed the top of my head.
The next morning found me with my head hanging outside the bedroom window vomiting all I had left in my stomach onto lovely little blue flowers. Groaning, I told Xena I needed to see a healer. I was getting scared now that I was on dry land. It wasn't seasickness now. I was sick, really sick. Xena didn't know what to do. My lover, being a ghost, obviously couldn't go find a healer for me. So I had to go find one. I cleaned myself up as best I could and feeling there was nothing more to spew, walked toward the village to find a healer. Fortunately I was directed to an old healer, Kalimata, who's home was only a short distance away. Xena and I arrived there before I became nauseous again.
Kalimata welcomed me into her home where she practiced her healing arts. The place smelled of various plants and herbs hung from the ceiling to dry. There was a cauldron with a foul smelling liquid bubbling on the fire. On one wall of the room there was a small altar with a statue of Aphrodite, which made me feel safe, knowing the healer was a follower of my good friend. Kalimata was a crone, but was young of heart. She was very gentle, very kind, very wise and very knowledgeable.
Kalimata asked many questions and was extremely thorough in her examination of me. She asked me if something was bothering me because I kept looking to the space next to me. Well, I was looking at Xena, whom the healer couldn't see, of course. I wondered if she would think me crazy if I told her about Xena. I decided to take a chance, and told her the story of my invisible companion. She smiled and greeted the chair where Xena was sitting as if it were a perfectly normal everyday occurrence to meet a ghost. I felt a deep sense of relief and comfort in Kalimata's care.
The healer went to the back of the room to look through some scrolls stacked in a corner. Kalimata gathered some herbs from various crocks and boxes, wrapped them in a small bundle which she gave me, and told me that these herbs would help with my nausea. Then she said something the I found impossible to believe. She said I was pregnant. What? No! She must be mistaken. Not possible! No, there was no possible way I could be pregnant. The only person I'd ever had sex with was Xena. My late husband, Perdicas, didn't count. Poor Perdicas couldn't perform on our wedding night. Xena cocked an eyebrow, slowly looked at me sideways, and smiled broadly when I related Perdicas' predicament to the healer. I poked my lover in the ribs with my elbow, to which she made a face making believe I injured her.
I told the crone about my daughter Hope, and the circumstances surrounding the terrifying rape by the fire that was Dahak. But in truth, Xena was the only person I'd ever had sex with. Now she was the only ghost I had sex with. Xena loved seeing me trying to explain that to the old healer. Kalimata laughed and said there was no doubt about her diagnosis. I, Gabrielle, the Battlin' Bard of Poteidaia, was going to have a baby. And I was perfectly healthy. She suggested I discuss the situation with Xena, which I intended to do as soon as we got home. Xena had that cute little half-grin on her face again. I paid Kalimata several dinars, which she protested was far too much, but I insisted she keep anyway…as an offering to the Goddess. "May Aphrodite bless you both, and the baby as well." Kalimata said as she bade us a good day. Xena took my hand as we walked home. My lover was smiling and whistling; me, I was in stunned silence.
When we reached the villa, my heart was filled with questions, but I couldn't form the words. I looked at Xena, and asked what was going on. How could I be pregnant? Callisto had reincarnated into Xena’s daughter, Eve. So I knew it couldn't be our old adversary. My phantom lover just stood there with a big silly grin strung from ear to ear.
Then it dawned on me. Would Xena be reincarnating as my child? Oh, no…no...no! It would not be Xena. She would not be reincarnating as my child! That would not be right! Oh, by the gods… no! NO! Xena smiled and shook her head. No, she promised me, she was not going to reincarnate as my child. Her promise and her arms wrapped me in a soft blanket of relief that replaced the dread caused by those outrageous thoughts.
Xena took my hand, kissed it, and led me into the bedroom. She lay down on the bed with me, propping up her head with her right hand, stroking my face with her left, and told me the story of my pregnancy.
Xena asked me to remember when we were at the oasis in Egypt, when I was enjoying the feasting and she had been gone while I was sleeping. I nodded and told her that I remembered the bear-hug she gave me from her mother. Xena said she returned with something else. She brought the soul of her brother, Lyceus. Lyceus was ready to be reincarnated, and asked Xena if she thought I would be a good mother for him. Xena told him she couldn't think of anything that would make me happier. Well, Xena, Cyrene, and Lyceus all agreed that I would be the perfect mother for him. I couldn't believe it. But there it was. Xena placed Lyceus' soul in my womb while we were making love at the oasis. Xena's beloved brother Lyceus was going to become my baby, our baby. Xena gave me a baby! It was true! I was going to give birth my lover's baby. I wept for joy. Xena knew how much I wanted to have a baby. And now, we were going to have a baby, and we were going to settle down in this beautiful villa in the sunshine. As Xena gently kissed and snuggled me I fell into a sweet, restful sleep and dreamt wonderful dreams of Xena and our baby.
When morning arrived, I wasn't as sick as I'd been the day before. I was able to keep my stomach from paying a return visit to the flowers. Just knowing why I was sick, and the thought of having a Xena's baby made everything different. But I also had mixed emotions. I mean, I was thrilled to be pregnant, but I was also sad that our baby would never know Xena's love, except through me. Once again, she would be denied the joy of motherhood. I swore our baby would know Xena's love, one way or another.
Later that morning, as I sat in the warm sunshine, writing all this down on a scroll, Xena knelt next to me. She took my hand, and gently caressed my palm with her lips. Then my strong, brave warrior princess softly spoke what was in her heart. "Gabrielle, I…I was wrong. I was wrong and you were so right. It was only a tragic accident in which all those people died in Japa. I thought I was doing the right thing by remaining dead back there. But, my love, I've gone over it again and again and again. I see…see how I was tricked…again… by Akemi…and with my eyes wide open, too. Dammit, Gabrielle, I've made some big mistakes, but that was the biggest mistake of them all. I'm sorry…I am so very sorry, my love. I hoped giving you this baby would help ease all the pain I caused you that da…." Xena's voice cracked with a sob and her beautiful blue eyes overflowed with tears and she cried as I had never seen her cry before in all our years together.
I held my beautiful ghostwoman in my arms soothing her as she cried. I finally said what I had been holding back for so long, fearing what her answer might be. "Xena, if there was a way to bring you back…would you come back? Would you come back to life to be with me and our baby?"
Xena looked up at me, wiping the tears away with the back of her hand and whispered, "Yes…oh, yes, yes, my love…yes…yes…yes." That was all I needed to hear. I knew there would be a way. Our child would know the love of both his mothers. I kissed her tears and led her to our bed where I held her in my arms for the rest of the daylight hours.
That evening I lay with my love on the terrace, nibbling cheese and grapes, watching the stars peek through the darkening sky. When it was time, we strolled over to the theatre for Sappho's performance. Xena had planned this trip to Lesbos long before we went to Japa. She had even reserved seats in the front row center!
It was a wonderful performance and at the end, Sappho recited a poem for my warrior princess she had written when she had learned of Xena’s untimely death. When she completed the poem, Sappho saluted me and Xena, in the empty seat next to me. It was a beautiful tribute that brought tears to my eyes and caused a lump to form in my throat. Then as Sappho, to the sound of thunderous applause and a standing ovation from the filled amphitheater, took her bows, Xena put her arms around me, leaned down, kissed me, and whispered in my ear: "Happy Birthday, Sweetheart."
This had been one of the best birthdays ever...in spite of Xena being a ghost. There was only one thing more I could wish for...but that could wait until tomorrow, when, with Xena's urn, we would visit my friend Aphrodite's temple.
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~ Gabrielle, Bard of Poteidaia, Wife of Xena: Warrior Princess, and Mother-to-be. |
TBC?