"No, no, no!"

"Why ever not? What ever happened to that 'You're above the greater good' stuff you always told me?!" Gabrielle shouted angrily, "Why choose Akemi's freedom over our love? You mean the world to me…why can't you get that through your thick, stubborn head for one moment and think of us? Why do these past years mean nothing to you when your past comes up out of no where…it's not your fault, not this time."

"Gabrielle, I can feel it, this is the right…" Xena started calmly, trying to soften the fire lit between them.

"Thing to do" the angry woman finished, the words dripping disdainfully from her tongue as she continued on, "Leaving me," Gabrielle spat with contempt, "That's all you ever do, one way or the other, how is that 'the right thing to do'?"

Gabrielle sighed heavily and sat, rather plopped, down on the makeshift cot on the ship as she ran frustrated hands through cropped blond hair. They were heading back to Greece before Egypt and would make it in only a few days from now if the winds remained favorable. Gabrielle thought that she might tell what family they had left about what happened. The bard-turned-warrior fingered the chakram which lay on top of her blue gi and the brown hakama: both reminders of their trip to Japa. Looking at it in thought, she turned her eyes to the figure only she could see and hear.

"We were supposed to spend the rest of our lives together," she said quietly as a lone tear found a path out of her green eyes.

"Gabrielle," the dark-haired woman said, taking a breath and sitting next to the smaller woman. She pulled her into a gentle hug, draping her arm over the bard's shoulders. "If there were a way that I could change any of this, without forsaking the freedom I gave those souls and be brought back to you, then I'd take it."

"You make it sound so easy warrior princess…if there is a chance, I'm bringing you back, no questions and no stopping me." The blond sounded almost playful, but the serious tones resonated in her words.

"What are you gonna do with those?" Xena asked, nodding to the Japanese attire of the fighter and the katana as she tried to alter the line of conversation somewhat.

"I don't know, it would be so much easier to keep the sword, if not…if not for everything that's happened these in this past weeks…has it even been months?" Xena nodded solemnly, "Yes months; first traveling to Japa, your death… my attempted resurrection before you stopped me – both took place in two days though – and now, coming home. Not timeless, nor forever, but," sighing, "a long time nonetheless. The clothes I'll keep; them being just another reminder, another souvenir of our vast travels…"

Xena nodded and thought it best to let the conversation die calmly. The small warrior in her arms began to feel heavy and she laid her down gently on the cot. Brushing back the stray golden hairs from her fair, she kissed her cheek.

"I love you Gabrielle," she whispered. Those were the last words Gabrielle heard before entering Morpheus's realm.

Gabrielle wandered through the forest of Japa, not quite knowing what she was looking for, just searching. It was eerily silent. She saw two figures before her, but couldn't make out who they were with their faces concealed. She jogged up to them, not knowing why when there was the familiar sound of a sword slicing through the air and then flesh; the sound of sloshing blood was heard. Gabrielle opened her mouth, terrified at the sight before her. She gagged, as if to vomit and wanted to turn around, but couldn't; something was forcing her to watch.

Xena's carcass fell, her head rolling off with a sickening ease. The now freshly slain body of her best friend and love lay strewn on the ground before her; her killer, no murderer, standing above her in victory with his blood soaked katana raised in the glory of the kill. The warrior-bard could only stare with wide, horrified eyes and cringe in utter disgust, much too shocked to do anything but look on helplessly at her soulmate. He turned towards Gabrielle, his face blank. Tears were coming to her eyes when she next saw Xena's body hung up nude, and grotesquely mutilated with arrows, cuts and bruises, and her headless shoulders…speaking muted words of horror.

Gabrielle was squirming violently, her body drenched in sweat. A gentle hand shook her awake to relieve her of her nighttime terror.

"NO!" she shouted in utter angst. Sitting up suddenly, she found herself sweating and panting in the small ship's cabin, her limbs shaking in sheer shock though she had seen it to be all to real before. It was a nightmare, a horrible nightmare. She witnessed Xena's death, and then her own reaction all over again to the sickening sight of Xena's corpse hung up for the maggots. The emotional pain flowed over her in currents of tears. She felt strong arms envelope her and rock her rhythmically, trying to calm her down.

"Shhhh, it's okay, I'm here now," Xena's soft voice whispered.

"No, no…why that way, why now?!" She asked no one in particular, and panting through the heavy breaths wrought by her sobbing. She knew Xena heard her cries, but she didn't care…she just spoke the words feverishly, though no illness was to be found aside from the hot temper that tormented her heart. Xena kissed her head softly, while whispering calming words into her partner's ear and continued to rock her until the tears subsided.

"I saw it Xena…" she said, sniffling, her voice unsteady and cracking, "I saw you die, it was awful. There was so much blood," She nuzzled into the dead woman's shoulder, finding some comfort in her ability to be held by this tangible ghost that was Xena.

"It'll be all right in the end," Xena told her softly.

"We're going to get you back Xena," Gabrielle said, her voice husky from crying, "this I swear."

Xena just looked at her thoughtfully, not saying anything for, or against her little warrior. Right now, there was no need to be contemplating the issue, just comfort and hope were all she had to offer and accept.

Gabrielle stood out on deck, taking in the afternoon sea air she had become so accustomed to. They were almost home, the captain had said Greece's shore had been spotted, and they should be there by next light.

"Home…" she drew out the word and sighed. Seems like everywhere is their, her home. Xena's home would be in her heart, she knew that, but it wasn't enough. Wanting to forget, she grabbed her Katana, if anything she could try some exercises to ease her mind. She did a simple kata, closing her eyes to feel the motions, she stepped in and out, mentally blocking and parrying unseen enemies. Through closed eyes, she tried to calm her mind in vain; images from her nightmares failed to cease, even in daylight, and tormented her. Images flashed through her mind: Xena's body, hung up and tortured, even in its unfeeling state. She shook her head and grimaced, trying to shake the imagery. A pool of blood – now Gabrielle's strokes and maneuvers became more aggressive as she fought the memories of terror. Xena's murderer; the angered woman violently sliced a chair nearby in frustration, and sobs came forth. She knelt down and tried to collect herself before she felt a hand on her shoulder. She would have been startled if she hadn't already known it was Xena…just the feel of her presence told her so when she touched her.

"I'm fine Xena…I just need to cope, that's all. We'll be home soon."

Xena just nodded, "Yeah, sure…" she said uneasily, and worrisome for Gabrielle. Before the blond woman could turn on her heals, she added, "Gabrielle…about last night, just think about what you risk doing by setting me free from death, even if you can manage it."

"I have, and I know that I want you back in my life, alive."

"Gabrielle!"

"No, Xena, listen to me…I love you, it's that simple. Yes, souls are at risk, but I would do anything to bring you back. For once look at it my way. You committed an accident, it was not planned; it wasn't murder…why take responsibility for that? Why put Akemi over me? Why put forty thousand souls, none of which even had faces, over us? Why loose everything we've devoted to each other in this life over guilt? Why deny yourself happiness?" She spoke the last one with exasperation, her eyes almost pleading her case. She couldn't be angry with the warrior, but she never really understood her sometimes.

With a quiet, forced resignation in her voice, Gabrielle looked away and said quietly to her own soul's companion, "Xena, the way I see it you have two choices: to live again or stay dead…" She took a deep breath, almost regretting what she would say next, "If you choose death I might…well," she looked up a beat and turned to look over the small ship's wooden railing, "let's try not to speculate what I'd do." She grinned weakly, trying to hide her sorrow.

"Gabrielle…" Xena was worried now, her eyes held her own fear, she swallowed, "you…you're" her hand went her forehead and she shook her head in disbelief, "you're not going to kill yourself, are you?!" she nearly gasped out.

Gabrielle nodded solemnly, biting her lip, "If that's what it takes to be with you, Xena." She lifted her head to meet the face of her dead soulmate, "It's either that, or I have to let you go completely." She shook her head, "I can't live like this, with you so close and not being all here…it's too much for me, too much pain on my soul; I just can't." She looked up, her emerald eyes making a silent plea to her friend.

Xena felt a tear trickle down her cheek. She wouldn't admit, at least out loud, that Gabrielle was right. She walked over to the distraught bard slowly. Placing both her hands on the muscled shoulders of her companion, she looked into deep green eyes. There was a beat of silence. With a quiet, shaky voice she said, "I can't decide that right now. I'll think about it, I promise." She turned to leave when Gabrielle pulled her back.

"Don't take too long, I need this. I love you, Xena."

"I know," she whispered, "me too."

Gabrielle walked through the streets of Athens admiring the products and people of the marketplace. For the time being, she thought about wearing her gi and hakama as it was late fall and cooling; she would buy more native gear in time. So, as a foreigner she would look. Often people would turn heads to look at her. She looked as one of them, her features speaking of the Greek, but her clothes were strikingly different, unlike any of them had seen, and some had seen much. She walked as if with someone, and then alone. Many of them noted the aura of formidability though many of the younger and inexperienced men, and some of the more stupid or ignorant ones, ignored it. This woman had seen a lot in her time – which didn't seem like a lot, she looked to be in her mid to late twenties on first guess. Some looked warily at her, as if she were some sort of evil, different as she was.

"Who is she?"

"Where does she come from?"

"A woman shouldn't be parading around with a sword," and many more questioning criticisms were the murmuring among the common townsfolk. She smiled inwardly at people's assumptions. They could think anything they wanted, it didn't matter. She moved to the side quickly as two boys, maybe seven or eight years of age ran through the markets, waving wooden makeshift swords wildly through the air. She grinned and shook her head, in reminiscing thought. Oh how she wanted to be a warrior, just like Xena…the boys will grow up, innocent of life until they make that first kill, then everything will change.

"Everything," she whispered to herself as she reflected on her life since she meeting Xena.

"Evweething, what?" a small girl asked, standing by (who one would presume to be) her mother as she bought goods for the home. It was then that Gabrielle realized that she was standing in the middle of the street, doing nothing, and probably looking funny to foreign eyes. She smiled, inwardly laughing at herself before kneeling down to the girl's height.

"Hi there, what's your name?" she asked the girl.

"Liana," she said, blushing with childhood shyness. "I'm thith many," she said proudly, holding up four fingers.

"Well, Liana, my name's Gabrielle, do you think your mama knows where I can find a horse dealer and a place to sleep for tonight?"

Gabrielle heard a low chuckle beside her and grinned, shaking her head slightly in the knowledge that only she heard it.

"Ummm... Gabwielle, I haf to ask my mama fertht"

"Okay," she said smiling, and stood up. She leaned over and through to whisper in Xena's ear, "Now, what was so funny?"

"Nothing," Xena said matter-of-factly, "just that you're so good with children."

"Uh huh," Gabrielle replied skeptically before turning towards the mentioned mother, smiling.

"You wish to seek board at my house for the night? Do I get that correctly?" asked the other woman, who perhaps looked close to Gabrielle's own age.

"Yes, I have traveled for many, many nights and seek shelter, and perhaps you know where I can buy a horse as well?" Gabrielle waited as the woman mentally appraised her.

"You are welcome into our humble Greek home, though please, come to the door tonight, and ask my husband for his hospitality. I will give you directions, and please, call me Selaea." The woman smiled.

"Thank you for your hospitality Selaea, I am honored to be a guest, I must say goodbye for now, I have to pick up some supplies," after getting directions to their farmhouse, she looked down and waved, "bye Liana," and then to Selaea bid her farewell.

Gabrielle smiled satisfactorily, forgetting that Selaea failed to give her any information about the horse, and looked at Xena who smiled back. Now, she had to buy some supplies. She walked around the marketplace, and bought various items: fruit, dried meats, spices, and other immediate necessities. She also bought a sharpening stone of her own. She almost missed the scroll vender. She turned to look at his products: the scrolls, the rolled up parchments she desired so in her early years. So long since she had time to write, let alone feel anything to write about. So much had changed. The words came with more difficulty now. She felt saddened by this revelation, though she had thought about it before. But now it just hit her, along with all of the "full circle" concepts that have dawned upon her matured soul in recent years with Xena. Sighing, she decided to buy a couple; it couldn't hurt… for old time's sake.

She heard the men, four of them, approaching behind her, but said and did nothing. 'Not unless provoked', she had told herself countless times after a particular incident more than, well, twenty seven years ago counting the twenty-five they slept in their icy tomb. It had been on that day that she was being suspicious, ever too cautious, of this one man. She thought he had drawn a weapon. Ha! It was a handkerchief. Maybe that's why she had originally chosen the staff. Now more than ever she contemplated going back to it as her weapon of choice; while it could be lethal, bloodshed was not it's intent.

The men stopped behind her, and were whispering amongst themselves. One stepped forward; she could feel his presence behind her. Looking up, she eyed the vendor apologetically, and turned around. With her face a mask of cool confidence, she looked up into the taller man's eyes. There was a disadvantage to being shorter, but through the years she learned to walk as if she were as tall as Xena. That helped.

"Can I help you, sir?" Gabrielle asked him coolly.

'This woman is more than I thought, this should be fun,' he thought. He had noted her strong presence, even for a woman so young and small, but chose to deny it. What damage can a woman do anyway?

"Yes, my name is Thalus, I'm looking for a woman…short, wearing strange clothes, she bears a sword, and I'm about to make her mine – whether she likes it or not!" He leered at her with his intent evident before lunging at her.

'Typical...so typical,' Gabrielle thought momentarily as she dodged out of the way swiftly. "You don't want to be doing this, I suggest you leave before somebody gets hurt," she said.

"The only one who will be hurt is you, dressing like a man, and carrying a sword…what could be more absurd than that?! Not even watching a fish try to run on land. It's a dangerous world, and if you don't cooperate with me little girl, I'm afraid I'll be your first lesson in how dangerous it can really be!" Thalus drew his sword and waved it through the air amateurly though a threat nevertheless.

"Don't be underestimating what you know nothing about!" Gabrielle nearly shouted. She bore the defensive stance, ready to reach down for her sais at a moment's notice.

"You talk big for a woman!" He lunged, and she feinted off to the side, dodging him completely. She quickly grabbed her sais and took up a defensive stance. Thalus shook himself, and turned around. Bringing his sword up and then back down in an overhead strike, he lunged at her again. This time she thrust the hooked ends of her sais upwards, catching the sword mid-stroke; she twisted her wrist, locking the sword between the prongs. Then with the practiced ease of a fighter she kicked him twice in the gut, before releasing the sword, and delivering a spinning back-kick to her assailant's jaw. Gabrielle backed off a few paces, catching her quickened breath, and giving herself room to take another attack, but hoping her current opponents would cease from the fight and leave her to her business.

It was the latter, at least for now. "You bitch! You just lost me some teeth, damn wench!" Thalus shouted through his clenched teeth, as he gripped his aching jaw; a trickle of blood spewed from his mouth and he was breathing heavily. He turned to leave, his comrades following in suit.

Gabrielle sighed, and shook her head. With a hint of sadness, she spoke to herself quietly, "And you talk big for a dog…"

She turned around to find the street vendor selling scrolls was still there. It was obvious he was a bit shaken by the recent fight, but he managed to regain most of his composure. Smiling, she pointed to some lambskin parchments and a bottle of thick, black ink. "I think I'll buy three of those and a bottle of ink, thanks." She reached into her purse and gave him the money before heading off and hoping that there would be no more adventures for the day.

The street vendor looked on after her, and was oddly puzzled by what he saw: as the small woman warrior left the market grounds, she seemed to be leaning into some invisible, or imaginary object and talking to it as she would a person. He continued to stare when she grinned, and laughed at air, shaking her head. She only smiled and continued to walk on. 'She's either very insane or there's more than I'm seeing at hand...' he thought awkwardly. Shaking his head, he began to speak to his next customer, "That will be four dinars sir."

"You know I like the way you handled yourself back there," Xena said, after about a half-hour's walk from the marketplace. She looked a little sad; her bard could take care of herself. Xena knew she could do it all the time for a long while now; she never denied Gabrielle's capabilities as a fighter. It just saddened her at times to know that she was no longer a necessary part of Gabrielle's life in that aspect of what their years together had brought to her.

"Thanks, I wish some people wouldn't be so damned arrogant, I really wished he would just go away," Gabrielle sighed and shook her head, "You think we should be heading to Selaea's house now?" She asked, looking at the sun and mentally noting that they had a couple hours before nightfall.

"Hmm…" Xena pondered this a moment, "As I recall, you wanted to find a horse dealer?"

"Yeah, and your point? I can find a horse in most places, but that's not," she emphasized this by poking the tangible ghost firmly in her chest, "what I was asking, now was it, warrior?" The dark woman just grinned, and shook her head in agreement. Gabrielle just eyed her suspiciously, as anyone who has been with this particular warrior for as long as she has would do – or it could have been the fact that the blond woman simply hated it when this particular one looked at her this way.

"Well…?" She tried again.

Xena just looked up at the sky casually and then back at the little warrior, "Yeah, I think we should get going, besides… if anything, you wouldn't want to pass up a night indoors, let alone a warm, home-cooked, rather large meal." The warrior poked her companion firmly in the stomach playfully, referring to the 'intimate moments' the bard had with her food. "Maybe they have some bloody pork liver too…" Xena said with a feigned grimace and then smirk. Laughing at her friend's flushed face, she disappeared quickly to avoid a well aimed swipe to her rear.

"Arg! Xena, dead or alive, why I put up with you I'll never know!" was heard as Gabrielle verbally chastised the air around her, her frustration with the woman, evident.

"Selaea, that was a wonderful meal, how can I even thank you once again for your hospitality?" Gabrielle said between swallowing a spoonful of vegetable soup, and drinking from her cup of warm goat's milk. Selaea was surprised but not alarmed, thankfully, by this young woman's healthy appetite and simply shook her head.

"Think nothing of it child but perhaps simple Greek hospitality. I'm just sorry that all we can offer you for the night is an empty space in the barn." Selaea's husband, Kulias, said.

"Quite all right, and I thank you, both of you," was all Gabrielle said in return, simply smiling at them. She turned to the seat next to her to see Liana smiling back at her, her brown eyes staring at her with childish intent. "Dinar for your thoughts, Liana?" the young warrior asked.

"Ummm," the girl started, "Gabwielle, can you tell a shtory about a plathe you've been?"

Gabrielle only smiled, and looked back up at the child's parents before speaking, "Oh gods, you must not know how long it's been since I've told a story to anyone but myself." She ran her hand almost nervously through her shortly cropped locks, "And even that has been a long while," looking first at Liana, she faced the Selaea and Kulias, "Would you mind if I…" she waved her hand in an implying gesture. They both nodded.

"Okay…" the bard took a reassuring breath, "Liana, I'm going to tell you about a wonderful woman, who meant more to me in this life than life itself. Her name was Xena, a warrior, a friend, a partner, and a soulmate. She could be compassionate, and a hardened warrior…I was lucky enough to meet this woman, and learn from her life's mysteries one day, a long time ago, in the small village of Poteidaia…" She continued to tell Xena's and her life story, about their adventures, and mistakes; how slowly a hardened warrior opened up, and showed her heart; how she began to care. She told about what it means to loose one's blood innocence and its price on the soul. Her voice often quieted when speaking of these moments in their lives. It was during those times that so much changed between them. She felt the yearning in her heart as she spoke her words; now reliving many of the memories she had buried or put aside up until now. For this little girl she found words to heal herself, a soothing ointment for her soul. She sang of Dahak, and Hope, of the love and pain, and the sorrow and joy of her life; she told the story of the woman who gave her the world, and then left it. "…And Xena, who would always have that redemption she sought just out of reach, who would always torment herself with the pain of others, never allowing herself that which she so desired, found exit in this world through her tragic death at the hands of a faceless samurai. There are many whom she loves, but only one she would leave," Gabrielle pondered her own sorrow-filled words for a moment, "but then, she never really left me. Everything she's taught me, everything I remember about her: her touch, her compassion, her strength and love…all touched and remain in my heart, as does she," Gabrielle looked up towards the doorway, the soft tears in the corners of her eyes and down her cheeks, to see Xena, standing there, and a single tear falling from her sapphire eyes. The bard smiled weakly, and drew in a breath of air, her eye's never leaving the dark warrior's own as she spoke, her voice soft and sad, "This woman is Xena, the greatest warrior, the greatest woman on earth and the keeper of my heart and soul."

"That was beautiful Gabrielle," Xena said, mute to all ears but the bard's own, and wiping a stray tear from her eye. She walked over to the blond woman, who had closed her eyes with the closing proximity between them, to whisper softly in her ear, "I love you Gabrielle, remember that, always." She rubbed her forehead against Gabrielle's gently before turning on her heals outside. The young warrior's eyes remained closed for a beat, when she felt the ghostly warmth leave her side. She opened them to see her hosts sitting in front of her, smiling at her, and then down to the four-year-old child who had moved, and was now sitting in her lap. Liana looked up at the small woman's face with sleepy eyes, though she had managed to stay away through it all.

"I think it's time for bed, sweetie" her father said, picking her up and hugging her to his chest, her legs tight around his waste. Gabrielle could only smile warmly at the show of affection.

"You have a beautiful daughter," she said quietly to the couple. They nodded in acknowledgment of the compliment and turned to leave.

"Why were you cwying, Gabwielle?" Liana asked softly, but just as suddenly.

The sad face of the young warrior looked up to meet innocent eyes once more, and only answered what she could bear to say, "Because I love her, and now…I'm, well I realized I can't have all of her." She didn't see Xena listening in to that last remark. "I should probably head out to bed," she said quietly, "I'll be leaving in the morning, thank you Selaea," she nodded to the woman and then her husband, "Kulias." She slowly made her way out to the barn with heavy footsteps, and angst driven with the revival of her story and her own honesty of her emotion, still raw to her ears and heart.

Gabrielle laid down on the bedroll she had spread over a mattress of hay and loose grasses. Curling up on one side, a tear trickled its way down her nose; she had hopes that the dream would not come tonight, of all nights. The sad bard felt the bedding move as a soft, almost empty weight found itself right behind her. Xena reached over and wrapped a strong arm over Gabrielle's waist and pulled her close, her own face inches from the warrior-bard's own. Leaning in, her voice resonated in soft whispers to her soulmate, "If bringing me back is what must be done, if for no other reason, then I will do it for you, Gabrielle." Then as Gabrielle was swept away into her nightly cycle of unconsciousness, Xena reached down and kissed her partner's cheek softly. Xena's body slowly faded into the night, with only her soul's presence felt by the woman she loved. With the fading memories of Xena's last words, Gabrielle had no nightmares that night; she had only the hope of Xena's return.

Part II

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