What do you do when a certain bard gets creative? Well, afterwards you'll need a cigarette and smile. (Or hope the batteries are charged.) Charmer brings Gabrielle out nicely and keeps her true to form for her appetite, in more ways than one.

Seeming to parallel the usage of light and dark found within the composition of the painting, Bongo does the same with her narrative, so that what is omitted, like a shadow across the page, is as vital as what is illuminated. Storytelling that utilizes sparse, simple strokes, and opts to tell the story from a restricted point of view (very much like the elements of the painting that are so seductive to Jean), so that in the end the story's tone and style has a feeling of incompleteness to it.

If you just want a Thud of a story that will make everything stand on end, this is it. It's a good, fun read that will melt your monitor. In the end you will all wish you had a taste of the warrior.

It’s fundamental to my understanding of Xena and Gabrielle that they are soulmates, and in my mind that usually implies a physical relationship. So my prejudice doesn’t usually allow me to recommend a story by ‘shipper’, but in this instance the quality of the writing and the plot forced me to make an exception.

Lady Kate has done a brilliant job of extrapolating events surrounding the episode When Fates Collide to re-form around her favorite character, the God of War. Although Xena in this world is the Mistress of the the God of War, he finds all is not as perfect as he first imagines. The rest of the Greek Gods are once again alive and remember what part Ares played in their deaths, and very determined to not let him make the same decisions again. Being called Lord Mars is the least of his dissatisfaction when he realises that Gabrielle was right, that ‘the Warrior Princess he loved was the one who had channeled her fire and rage into self-sacrificing heroics, into fighting against him and atoning for everything she had done in his service’.

With the other Gods watching his every move, he is forced to work with Gabrielle to return everything to what it once was, even if it means being returned to that tumble down farm as a mortal again, and losing the woman he loves to another.

Despite portraying an Ares with a conscience, a Gabrielle filled with distrust and Xena as a noble woman, the character’s true natures shine through in this excellent story.

Although this story came out last year, I'm just getting around to reading it now.

Ever find yourself unable to turn the pages of a book fast enough, the feast is that good? Well, you'll find quite a delicious meal with this story.

It takes place in the present time in a world we all have witnessed on the 6:00 news: an important figure has a family that needs protecting from the 'crazies' that want their 15 minutes of fame. In this story, a senior secret service agent is tasked to guard the daughter of such a man. Both seem to have quite a bit of emotional baggage as they enter their very strained relationship. Neither one seems willing to give any more than they have to, fearing to do so makes them vulnerable. As time passes and their constant exposure to one another is intensified because of death threats, both women see something they need in the other. Although originally manifested in sexual attraction for one of them, the other is feeling something very akin to love; something neither one ever thought they'd feel again. Suddenly a duty becomes an honour, and honour a liberation.

I don't think I've ever read anything so enjoyable since Lucifer Rising or Persistence of Memory. The action is fast paced, the characters well defined, the language and syntax flowing, and the plot riveting. The images created by the author literally jump right off the pages, drawing the reader in until we care about each and every one of the characters.

My only complaint? It ended much too soon.

Sina and Gabby along with their faithful bike Argo take you along on their hilarious childhood adventures. Vivid imaginations and a love for Xena: Warrior Princess pit the dynamic duo against quarry monsters, a crabby neighbor, solar eclipses, a sleep over, things that go bump in the night, and camp counselors. Gabby's vivid imagination and Sina's fearlessness and sense of adventure often get the girls into trouble, but their hearts are always in the right place.

Verrath presents a sense of nostalgia as Sina and Gabby become Xena and Gabrielle. Transforming daily life to mythical misadventures. These feel good stories bring a smile to your face as you watch the girls take on all that life has to throw at them with typical childhood enthusiasm, drama, and friendship. Sina and Gabby possess many of the traits a familiar mythical duo possess, yet they have their own unique personalities. Above all, they are best friends who risk everything important - being grounded, missing desert, extra chores - for each other.

"This story involves an in-the closet actress, online relationships, Puerto Ricans, the Spanish language, Starbucks coffee, angels, boyfriends, sexual relationships between women .. and a ton of other random things that poured forth from my artistic loins. If none of the above things interest you, then you may not want to partake in this little tour of my demented psyche."

Words from the author herself on this piece of original fiction that caught my eye (the disclaimer alone is recommended reading).

Julianne Franqui is the star of her own television show, and soon to be released movie; young, beautiful, rich, successful, and so far in the closet she can't see the light.

Kris Milano is a student/aspiring artist, trying to get by in New York with her best friend Leigh. It's when Julianne goes to New York on a round of publicity for her movie that she spots a painting being peddled on the street, by a certain artists' best friend, a painting that she decides she must have. A painting that will ultimately set her on course with destiny. This story is full of witty dialogue, unique characterisations, and a quick paced plot. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed this piece of original fiction, so I think you should just go and have a look for yourself.

Add two parts Uber (XWP and the film "Dead Again") stir gently, pour over a Los Angeles landscape, and you have "Breaking Chains."

Faith, a private investigator with a specialty in missing persons, is called when a woman with amnesia, and terrifying nightmares, materializes on the doorstep of the convent where Faith was raised. Just as this is an Uber within an Uber, so is it a story within a story. A scandalous, love-gone-wrong murder involving a famous actress (Blythe Dawson, and her lover Josephina Wright) that rocked Los Angeles some fifty years previous, seems to be the key as to why Gabrielle (yup, that's what they decide to call her until she remembers who she is ;~) is having night terrors. And, believe me, these pesky dreams are as bloodcurdling as they are real.

Soon the question begs: Did Josephine kill Blythe? More importantly, will history repeat itself? These are not idle questions, but ones that actively pull us through the story at a crisp, clean pace. You'll care about the back-story as much as the present one because they are so inextricably intertwined.

This story reminds me a little bit of an old-style, mystery-thriller, detective story, especially because this genre has always utilized the Los Angeles landscape as a sort of secondary character. So, especially fun is Rooks taking us around the city. I loved the thrift shop named "Surrender Dorothy"; a fun wink at those of us who know the real "Dorothy's Surrender." Okay, now that I'm done with my little self-indulgence <g>. Do take a peek at this story, it's a terrifically entertaining read.

What are the three essential ingredients for a really good uber? Romance, adventure and mystery? Ghosts, criminals and dodgy sheep farmers? Beautiful scenery, deserted youth hostels and hospitals?

No. For a really good uber, you need a cute but mischievous Dorothy, a tall, dark and grumpy Cowardly Lion and a gangling, Abba obsessed Tin Man. Then, to start it off, you dump our three intrepid heroes (two of whom hate each other on first sight - guess which two?) in the middle of a small Welsh coastal town, with strict instructions to "make your way back here - without using maps or money - in three days time." What could possibly go wrong??

Barbara Davies tells us as the story unfolds, through believable characterisation, great dialogue and solid plotting. Starting off their journey rattling around blindfolded in the back of a transit van, our trial bound threesome painfully make their way through three days of gently humourous adventure as they cut across Snowdonia national park in full fledged Wizard of Oz costumes in the pouring rain. You will have to read the story to find out how they manage to spend a night in a police cell/get squashed three in a bed in a haunted house/end up at hospital with a near fatal case of wasp sting.

And if that wasn't enough, you've got the hesitantly blossoming romance between Charlie (Dorothy) and Jen (the Cowardly Lion) as they fight mutual antagonism, their own libidos, three in a bed romps and communal showers. And not even a kiss in sight..........<g>

Every so often I go out surfing the web rings in search of lost treasure that have missed the major indexes and deserve a notice. A very promising new story is "Breaking the Silence" by Eponin. Although there is only the first four chapters available at this time the writing style is crisp and entertaining.

Cassiel is fleeing a resent personal tragedy which becomes exacerbated when she discovers a dangerous family secret. On the run, she finds herself at a quaint restaurant on the beach operated by a mysterious woman named Jael. Jael agrees to hide Cassiel and soon they are beginning to discover each other.

I look forward to more of this story, and I hope readers who find it as intriguing as I did will encourage the author to post more.

[webmaster's note: story no longer appears to be available on the web. If you know where we can link to it, please email us!]

This is one of my favorite classic X&G alt short stories. A touch stone for when I think that if I read one more plot-less, sex fan fic I will scream! It's a reminder of the true romance that is attractive about this genre in the first place. I tell myself if so many tender emotions can be tucked into one short story then perhaps there will be more. And yes there always is, but this is the one I keep coming back to--to remind myself of that.

The night before a battle Xena is alone by a campfire, Gabrielle is safe in a inn. This is where the same tired scenario stops. A warrior who has suffered a great loss comes to Xena's camp site on a mission of love and circumstance that will leave you pondering long after the story has been read.

It may, or may not be, a coincidence when Logan (an award-winning investigative reporter) rescues Frith Buchanan (a computer consultant and ex-Greenpeace worker) from an attack by a security guard outside of the Tall Trees hydroponics complex. Once Frith reveals that she has stumbled across information that has raised her suspicions about a possible government cover-up that involves the previously quiet complex, she asks for Logan's help in seeking out the truth.

Logan, who has been mysteriously out of circulation for a few months, must call upon her old friends (and possibly her enemies) to find out what is going on behind the gates at Tall Trees. This doesn't seem to be an easy task because everyone seems to have their own secrets, nor are they readily willing to share them. As the story unfolds, information is uncovered that points to something larger than Logan, and perhaps even Frith, can imagine.

From the very beginning, Karen Malevich keeps the reader guessing with this erotic thriller. Karen manages to draw together a very captivating plot that combines sex, suspense, and intrigue in a story that will hold your attention throughout.

Call me a masochist, but I love to read long stories. I even love to read them over lunch, which is why I have four-hour lunches sometimes and no viable career to show for it. Anyway, baermer is one of my favorite bards in which I can indulge this questionable pleasure. Her latest, "The Cage of the Muses," is a great, epic story: Xena & Gab are summoned to Alexandria by Cleopatra. Once there, they get caught up in oodles of political intrigue, and the Gabster is offered a position as a scholar within the city's magnificent library, which gets her embroiled in even more intrigue. (I loved reading all the "behind the scenes" machinations of the library and those within its walls.)

This is a richly detailed story-the bard has done an admirable amount of research, and these realistic touches are woven into the work very well. In addition, baermer raises some thoughtful questions about knowledge and learning, and its pursuit and misuses. I also enjoy the relationship she has created between Xena & Gabrielle-they come across as true equals who maintain a profound respect for and a sensitivity to each other's needs, beliefs, and desires.

In short, this is a great, rewarding read.

Sam is at the end of her rope, leaving home for something new, she finds herself searching her soul in the mirror of the restroom of the Rainbow Bar & Dance Club. Eppi the Manger there befriends the lost young woman triggering a fear of intimacy that spirals down to a nightmare of circumstances.

"Cape of Fear" By Jam is an endearing story about two souls that come crashing together in the worst possible set of circumstances. I'd love to give you a synopsis but the intrigue that sets the tone of the story is there from the onset. The only disappointing thing about this story is that there isn't more of it. I sincerely hope there is a sequel coming soon.

...I've hear from the Author, there is a sequel in the works!

In a word "Wow". I have just been on a magical journey and I invite everyone to take the same trip.  "The Chosen One" by Verda.

Ryshta is a land of the ruling class and the slaves that serve them. When Lord Athol sends his only daughter to meet the man he has chosen as her husband, she is caught in the middle of a slave rebellion. Lost and alone Roslin tries to find her way home.

Brice is the chosen one, foretold to be the leader who will set his people free. He finds a dying young woman and brings her to his mother, a healer, to save her life. This sets in motion a tale of love that will that will make your heart soar.

The characters are so full and rich, and the crafting so skillful that you'd swear you just watched a movie. I do hope that some day Verda decides to breathe life into the yet another tale of Ryshta and the friends I met there.

All of Ella Quince's stories are so consistently well-written and lovingly crafted that it's hard to pick just one for a review. (So you can just scoot over to Ella's site and read all of them, okay?) Nonetheless, for all intensive purposes and just to make life easier, I'll select "Creative License," one of my recent faves. The plot: A warlord named Xena captures a bard named Gabrielle, who has been telling some pretty tall tales about the warrior. From there, we are presented with unique-I also think of them as radical-characterizations of Xena & Gab as very real, flesh-and-blood women, and not glamorized superheroes. In many other stories, even when X/G are presented with flaws, their shortcomings tend to be on a grand, almost melodramatic scale (like Xena's bothersome tendency toward pathology and murder, Gabrielle's tragic need to trust All the Wrong People, etc.). Not so in this story. Here, Ella renders them on a smaller scale, but with all the charm, chemistry, and dignity of the characters perfectly intact. Oh, yeah: It's damn funny, too.

Quick, look for snowballs! Because I thought hell might freeze over before I would ever review a "general" and not alternative story. But damned if this piece did not prove me wrong.

I started reading this story because of the title alone-it's from a Walt Whitman poem. In fact, Anon uses-quite liberally and to marvelous effect-many passages from Whitman's "Crossing Brooklyn Ferry" as well as "Leaves of Grass" in this small tale of an emotionally traumatized woman who is riding the ferry just to forget her troubles, her destination unknown even to herself. But once on board she meets a kind yet familiar stranger, someone who may turn out to be the best friend she's ever had.

Whitman's lyricism really infuses this story; rather than detracting or distracting one from Anon's graceful, moving writing, his poetry seems to inspire it. It's like a dance, done with consummate skill as well as both love and empathy for the characters.

A lone horsewoman crests the brow of a hill, and rides recklessly into danger, intent on stopping the massacre she sees happening before her. And when she falls off her horse and knocks Gabrielle onto her ass, Xena gets really pissed: yes, it's Najara, high on Gin and ogling the bard...

Baffled by the unusual but undeniable fighting skills of the strange woman, Xena and Gabrielle join the Light and go off to fight Marrat and his slavetraders. Unfortunately, the Light in this story is a little worse for wear. Several hipflasks the worse for wear actually, and after mumbling about "fags, curries, sing-songs and last night's kebab" Najara welcomes "me new best mates" into her fold. Especially Gabrielle, whom she folds with relish. Discovering the source of Najara's "powers" - her Gin hipflask - Xena hatches the perfect plan to stop her, using the perfect bait...

Not for the delicate (its filled with filthy language), this story is a raucous parody of "Crusader" and if you like your comedy naughty, tasteless and ripe - this one's for you. Personally, I loved it <g>

At virtually the last minute, Attorney Claire Easton is taken away from corporate law and is given her first criminal case from Maylor and Moore. Once she reviews and hears the case the prosecutor (Claire's closest friend) has presented to the Judge, she is certain of the outcome of the trial. So when an unexpected verdict astounds everyone, Claire is resolved to find out exactly what happened. Soon the attorney finds herself at the Cornerstone Clinic, (which has a contract with the state correctional system) and in the presence of Amanda Greer and Jody Penbrook, founders of the clinic. As Amanda and Claire start to explore an attraction for each other, other lives are brought into the story to create a plot that will keep you guessing. Advocate and Rsawest have successfully intertwined relationships and events to create a story that shows just how small the world can be.

The story is about a tall brunette attorney who finds herself embroiled in a drug deal gone terribly awry. She and her friend Mark, another lawyer, find themselves unable to tell the good guys from the bad guys. Amongst all the turmoil enters a sychologist/therapist who not only piques the attorney's interest but her curiosity, too. Just how does the cute blonde figure into the dark goings on she seems entangled in? While the piece doesn't quite answer all the questions put forward, the plot is well-thought out. Fast paced and filled with wit, humour, danger, drama and hurt/comfort, the reader will find this feast to be one of pure enjoyment.

While in seven parts, the reader won't mind a bit because this piece is that good. Although not terribly graphic, the reader should be aware that there is nudity and sexual situations. This is a finished uber novella with a second story lead in called Crimson Snow, by Advocate.

I absolutely love Conqueror stories, but I have to admit they tend to become a little repetitive after you've read 30-something of them.

In a way or another, the rebel-poet-slave Gabrielle is always defeated-captured-sold and faces the mighty-cruel-brooding Conqueror. After some (how much depends on the Bard) time and/or angst-torture-crucifixions, Xena is reformed by Gabrielle's love and they live happily ever after.

Well, in Conquered you won't find *anything* in line with the Conqueror bardic canon. First of all, Xena is not ruling. She's been defeated by Alexander, and is prisoner in Shark Island, at the mercy of the sadistic warden Thelassa. Gabrielle has lost a leg as a consequence of her crucifixion, and is bitter and angry. She wants to hate Xena, and the former Destroyer of Nations helps it in their first meeting insulting her and hurting her with her words. But Gabrielle doesn't leave, and slowly breaks the defenses of the Conqueror... and her own at the same time.

Conquered is a story *not* for those who hate to see the main charachters mistreated. There's a lot of suffering (both physical and psychological) for Xena and Gabrielle in this story, but boy, the story couldn't be as good without it. And Conquered IS definetly a very good story. Grammar and spelling are flawless. The characters are wonderfully outlined, their actions always have a reason, and while at the beginning you obviously side with the hurt, resentful Gab and her hate, but bit by bit you can't help but becoming sympathetic with Xena.

Leslie embarked for a really hard journey, trying to change both Xena and Gabrielle, and in my opinion she's made a wonderful job so far. Conquered strengthens my belief that the Conqueror genre can still give us many, many hours of wonderful entertainment. This story is absolutely a "do not miss."

Set during the Canaanite rebellion, this story has the unique perspective of siding with the natives rather than the invaders of the Old Testament. The Canaanite women worship the female aspect of god, 'Asherah' and wish only live in peace; the One God has told his invading followers eradicate these idolaters. Tamar, an Israelite, has turned against her father and goes abroad to Greece in search of the fabled 'Amazons' in hopes of finding allies in her cause. On the way she meets a Warrior and a Bard who travel together.

This isn't a story about Xena, rather it is the story of three women in her life who teach her about different degrees of love; Voula, Tamar and Gabrielle. Each of these women have their reasons for having the warrior in their lives and the only common denominator is of course 'love'. It was fascinating to watch each relationship unfold; the romance being fresh and completely different in all three women.

The marvelous thing about this whole book, is the way this author has flipped history over and shown us the alternative view point that sets any childhood religious lessons on their ear. Very well written, provocative and courageous.

In this sensual tale set near the end of the Norse Trilogy, Gabrielle is still asleep and waiting for her soulmate to release her from her spell. During this time, she can exercise some control over her mental driftings and thinks back to when she first started traveling with the Warrior Princess.

"Sometimes I like to think that if things had happened differently between Xena and myself in all sorts of ways, it would have created a different life for us. If we had made different choices, been slightly different people. So sometimes I play over scenes from our journeys and change them in ways I think would later improve our life, spare us at least a modicum of pain. It's not always who you kill and don’t kill; it’s sometimes who you kiss that changes your fate."

When Xena does come for Gabrielle, readers are treated to a loving, heartfelt reunion between soulmates, and the opening of a new chapter for the Bard and her Warrior. Realistic dialogue, well-written, descriptive text and the author’s fluid writing style make this short story a pleasure to read.

I feel like I've just watched the pilot for a new TV show and I am sorely disappointed that it wasn't picked up by one of the networks. "The Coward" has to be the most fun I've had reading a Mystery, Action/Adventure, Buddy Story/Romance--Comedy. ( There's really no other way to describe it.)

Nikki Takis spots two bouncers trying unsuccessfully to oust a nosey PI from the club she's patronizing.  Impressed by the spectacle, she tries to hire the said PI when extortionists threaten her employment. The PI doesn't take her seriously until she collapses on her front step.

Terri Farmer is a Jane of all trades Private Investigator, She wants for nothing and has a strong love of her own personal space.  She takes what she thinks is going to be a simple Body Guarding job only to find herself nose deep in Blonde Greek/American trouble.

It's not too long. It's not too short. No, it's juuuust right.

In this sequel to "Connections", Claire has thrown herself into her new job as a prosecutor and Amanda continues her practice at the Cornerstone Clinic. When Amanda realizes that one of her patients is acting inappropriately during his sessions with her (by misinterpreting their therapist/client relationship), she has to terminate the counseling sessions. Unbeknownst to Amanda, the patient has developed a psychotic obsession with her. As the obsession grows, friends and family become a factor until we are treated to a thrilling outcome.

During this engaging story, Advocate effectively shows us with humor and compromise how Amanda and Claire are learning to deal with their relationship. Including most of the same characters from "Connections", Advocate has created a riveting story that will keep you on the edge of your seat.

Enginerd has deftly drawn a Conqueror you can’t place immediately. Sure, we are told of her dastardly deeds and there is a fatal incident in her bed chamber that could have been caused by deep fear or.... her strong hands. But on a visit to Cyrene she is almost the young daughter again being pampered by her mother. Cyrene sees that something is bothering her daughter but Xena’s verbal skills on THAT subject are nonexistent so her mother soon draws out of her a certain debilitating frustration. This is quite a comical scene that ends with Cyrene telling Xena she has found someone with excellent oral skills and that is what Xena needs too.

The next night a hooded Xena sees and hears Gabrielle perform as the resident bard of Cyrene’s tavern. She kidnaps Gab, telling her she has been recruited to be the Conqueror’s bard. Gab’s stiff resistance causes Xena to use the pinch to convince her. In spite of that (is this the Evil Xena?) this is also a really funny scene on the road to the Conqueror’s castle. Her use of the pinch raises the questions: is this the vicious Xena we saw in those myriad back stories or was she just a seeker of ‘fulfillment’? Is she the legendary ruthless killer...or a victim of hyperbole? Well, when we learn what REALLY happened at Cirra and at that Northern Amazon sweat lodge we understand what stunted growth in a certain area of experience can do to a Warrior Princess. [Excuse me for grinning]. Not that this Conqueror is harmless. Enginerd has remembered that to defang a warrior is to remove the credible threat that keeps the edge to her character and the humour. "She is probably out on Argo. If she is upset, she won't be back for a while. You shouldn't be around her when she's like this," he warned. "How do you know that?!?" Gabrielle challenged, firmly believing the opposite. Palimon pointed to the long scar on his face. "I tried to cheer her up once."

There were other humorous nods to incongruities expressed on the show. There are some wonderful bits including Hecuba’s attack on Xena and Xena's scene with Cyrene was hilarious and delightful; though I wasn't happy about a five year sleep, I guess the show prepared us for that. The writer advises to proceed reading at your own risk so I won’t reveal anymore of the story line but will highly recommend it as a rewarding read. Great Warrior Princess action, sweet level headed Bard behavior, a tale that teases, other familiar characters, good and bad, and a chance to decide for yourself just who this Conqueror really is.

My overall reaction to the story is, it tweaks the show to my utter satisfaction.

A refreshing take on our two favorite women. Sunstar the Elven Princess and Nightshade a Dark Elf, find themselves running from the bad guys leading into what begins as an uneasy trust and into something much more. Violence and sexual innuedo abound in this tale. Not for the faint of heart or young readers, but certainly worth the read for the stout heart and the adults.

Part of Katrina's Blood and Roses realm (which explores the notion of Gabrielle as Bacchus' Daughter and Xena as Ares' Daughter), Dark Promise is a fun treat for fans of both XWP and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It is a typical day in Sunnydale (well, as typical as you can get at the edge of Hellmouth anyway,) and a mysterious blue eyed stranger (three guesses) arrives in a limo searching for Willow, Buffy's best friend and computer hacker extraordinare.  From there, things get very interesting for the Scooby Doo Gang, as well as for our Immortal Warrior and Bard. A fun read.

How can you not love a story where Kathy Lee Gifford is decapitated? The story in question is Sasha Foo's "The Day the Ancient World Turned Day-Glo." Fabulous enough for the title alone, this story requires that you check all expectations of plot and seriousness at the door. It's an anarchic romp complete with Callisto, hallucinogenic mushrooms, beer bongs, sex, drag queens, and mass slaughter of Republicans, all couched within Homeric turns of phrase-and with most of the action occurring in the lovely city of Whatmeworry. (Anyone who has lived in New York during the Giuliani Reign of Terror will appreciate this story.) As Gabrielle herself proclaims in a bardic verse, "Xena and Gabrielle-living it up with pot and beer." I laughed my ass off. It's perfect.

One of the funniest ubers I've ever read, "DC" is set, natch, in Washington, DC. A dour Secret Service agent, Zora Dexter, is assigned watch over the new president's daughter, a horny, skirt-chasing, politically incorrect cokehead named Nellie Corrigan. Talk about a rough road to romance! On one level it's pure fun, as we watch Nellie incessantly bait Zora with a barrage of come-ons, insults, and generally outrageous behavior (and on occasion the no-nonsense Zora gives as good as she gets). However, the characters--both lead and supporting--are fleshed out so well that it's not just two-dimensional and sitcom-like. At times (well, really, most of the time) Zora and Nellie seethe in their frustrated attempts to communicate honestly with each other and the result is a painfully accurate modern romance. And, as a bonus, we get sexy KGB twins too! What more could you want out of uber, Natasha? Moose and Squirrel?

A Master of Xenaverse parody has done it again. Joanna''s ""Dead, My Ash"" has Xena fighting a battle with Gabrielle to stay dead. Apparently Gab's main competition for Xena is...Death. Anyhow, the Bard has her tricks and the help of a couple of Souls who in a self-serving way team up with a ‘‘powerful goddess of the future''. Xena’s Ghost's attempt at intimidation of the Bard is hilarious but Gab's show of force is much more deadly. You have to be alert as the barbs come a mile a minute. A really sly dig at a certain manipulating hussy, with an homage to Gone With the Wind, will have you in stitches. The dialog between X’s G & G is priceless.

GABRIELLE Out of the way, Xena Xena's ghost ....trying to keep Gabrielle from getting to the ashes XENA'S GHOST Booga booga! GABRIELLE (sarcastic) Oh, that's frightening XENA'S GHOST Give me a break. I'm new SOUL VOICE #2 Look, I can see grace! And boy is she hot! SOUL VOICE That's not grace, that's Xena. Look over there. See the place where the fat guy in the spangly jumpsuit is singing? That's the land of grace. SOUL VOICE #2 Don't be cruel. XENA'S GHOST Do something, you idiots! She's almost got the ashes! Gabrielle has indeed been working hard, shoving the still hot ashes into the urn.

And Gab''s bid for Comedy Central falls flat even with the errant Souls. Who wouldn''t be happy with this Ending.? Go there if you want to read it.

The seemingly disparate worlds of television news, professional golf and small-town romance merge delightfully in M. Ryan's uber story "The Deal." After a moment of anger almost ends her promising career, news director Laura Kasdan is forced to cut a deal to save her job: give up the high-profile Dallas market for lowly Burkett Falls, where if all goes well, she will redeem herself and earn the chance to return to Texas. Intent on making the best of a bad situation, "Kaz" is pleasantly surprised by the quality of the local station, especially the talent of reporter-turned-anchor Christine Hanson. Against her better judgment, Kaz finds the ruling passions of her life -- work and golf -- expanding to include the determined and charming young woman.

Though fully utilizing familiar aspects of Xena and Gabrielle, Ryan continues the welcome trend in recent uber fiction of creating original characters and situations, as opposed to simply updating or re-telling X:WP canon. Kaz and Chris are both smart and likable, and their personalities are well defined; even better, they are supported by well-developed secondary characters. Most impressive, however, is Ryan's ability to make the plot and storyline surrounding the lead duo every bit as interesting as their moving romance. Whether it's the frantic pace of the newsroom, the ins and outs of golf, or simply an accurate look at life in a small town, first-time author M. Ryan makes each aspect of her story credible and compelling.

Some really great Uber happening here. "Debts" by Alecto is well constructed and easy to read.

When Taylor Williams is sent out to work as an assistant to the reclusive Jack McDermott the last thing she expected was the most stubborn person she ever met. As she struggles to fit in with the large McDermott clan, life steals up behind her and grabs her by the heart. Though it's not finished it's definitely one to watch for.

I first read "Deep, Black Water" many months ago. It was relatively short, an easy way to pass a lonely night, and took me by surprise. Emmy is a lonely woman struggling through a nasty divorce, denied her children, slandered by her soon to be ex-husband and suddenly plunged into the role of Good Samaritan. Sara is……well, disturbed. They meet as Sara is preparing to end her misery in a swirling river, and it seems as though all will turn out right.

Lariel is a master at surprises as well as setting. No matter how many times I read this, and I've read this piece many times, I still feel the cold dampness as if it were soaking through my own coat. I can feel the rain, the roughness of the stone, and Emmy's heartbreak at her situation. Most of this short story is dialogue. It's natural, everyday language, and well done. Lariel lures the reader into a false sense of expectation, and lets us make a conclusion about the outcome of the meeting on the bridge. But you're in for a surprise. By the time you have finished reading "Deep, Black Water" you'll think twice about Sara. This is a character driven story with realistic dialogue, a simple setting and atmosphere that you can't help but feel. Lariel has delivered a tale with a power packed ending and characters you feel for, proving once again that she really is more talented than she'll admit to.

This great story starts like many conqueror stories out there. Then the originality of the plot comes through. Not only has Annemaart put a new spin on what could be a traditional conqueror story she has peppered it with a great deal of humour. It is a well-written story and I have enjoyed reading the first three parts that are available at this time. It is well worth a read!

One of the latest offerings from prolific author Wishes, this beautiful little vignette reveals a master's touch despite a deceptively simple style. "The Edge of the World" is a story of survival and choices, beginning with the fateful decision to put the women and children passengers of a doomed, sinking ship into the only lifeboat and launch them into the night. Long-presumed dead, a chance sighting leads to their rescue, and the women and children leave the island that has been their home for the past three years -- three years that might as well have been an eternity, for the changes time has wrought.

As her nameless characters offer few details of their ordeal (one woman, asked how they survived, replies only that "they did what needed to be done"), so does the author reveal her clues sparingly. The economy of words, however, suits the story, and enhances its appeal.

If "The Edge of the World" were a painting, it would be a collaboration between artist and viewer; in sure, swift strokes, Wishes has provided the canvas and the characters, while leaving the viewer (or reader) to complete the portrait, filling in the shadows and adding the background to his or her satisfaction. Though "Edge" takes only a few minutes to read, you'll likely ponder its characters and your own interpretation of them for some time.

I have to admit that it took me three tries to start reading this story. I was still bummed out... (Gee I wonder why?) and I wanted something light and flakey to take my mind off things. Three must be the charm, because am I ever glad that I sat myself down and said to myself: "Self, you know how much you like nice long juicy ubers. Leave the shorts alone for a bit and try to get into this epic." I think I should listen to myself more often!

Bailey has spent nearly all of her life in the pocket of a government agency because they hold a sword of Damocles over her life. She has found some measure of peace for the past few years when the beast stirs again and she must demonstrate to them why she 'always' wins. In the meantime Piper sees a side to this 'Princess of Darkness' that no one else can and with gentle care, helps her boss to see new possibilities.

This long tale is a bit disjointed in the beginning but if you can stick with it for the first few pages and especially if you read the whole thing; the beginning will make perfect sense. The plot is complex and clever, the characters are multifaceted and interesting and the villains are original and believable. The ending was solidly satisfying, unlike the thing that had bummed me out in the first place. Excellent read, thank you Kiera!

The third entry in a series begun in "Chattel"and continued in "Thrall", Dark Angel in "Ever After" shows us the final years of the Conqueror and her slave Gabrielle. In each of these three stories she has given us a dark, sometimes desperate and always moving account of the emotionally frozen Xena. And as for Gabrielle...there's no trace of the animated, passionate bard we know. Dark Angel has managed to Gabrielle of everything we know and love about her - yet she still remains somehow the same person, just about recognisable through her dreams and her writing.

In "Ever After", Xena's child gives us another view of the Conqueror and her relationship with her slave. Xena loves Gabrielle, but she can't allow herself to ever admit that, can't allow herself ever to want it. And Gabrielle can never allow herself to hope for it. Two people, caught in darkness, and too afraid to catch the light in each other.

These stories aren't pretty, but they are powerful and they will leave you with such a strong feeling of grief over lives and love wasted, of happiness denied. You'll hate them for all the right reasons and you'll love them for all the right ones too. I still catch my breath at the closing line of "Chattel", mourning at the bard who never had a chance at life, and I cried at the end of "Ever After", mourning for Xena who never gave herself a chance to enjoy the best thing in her life.

This is the best 'What If' Xena story I've read in a while. What if Xena and Gabrielle grew up together? Deceptively and gently, Grit weaves a very complex and beautiful story of love and pain, while staying completely true to the characters of the classic Xena universe. I was totally spell bound by the story from beginning to end. After it was over I had sit and regroup for a couple of minutes... Wow!

The author claims in the disclaimer that this is almost an uber, but I disagree. This is classic, although it takes place in an alternative universe. Grit Jahning (fast becoming one of my favourite writers) asks what would happen if Xena and Gabrielle had met earlier, and both our heroes had the chance at a more normal life. Adolescent Xena avoids the horrors of the raid by Cortese, and Gabrielle finds a family that loves her for who she is. Normally this would remove much of the depth to Xena's character, but the leads and peripheral roles are so lovingly rendered; Gabrielle's rescue from her brutal home life, Xena's discovery of someone to believe in her are beautifully rendered, that it instead becomes the reader's wish that they might have evaded the standard timeline. But this is also one of the sweetest romances it has been my delight to read. Touching, well written, although sometimes painful as well, this is a feast for the romantic, filled with phrases and scenes that touch the mind and heart with unerring precision.

Bat has some fun turning the episode BETWEEN THE LINES into an episode of Buffy. It's also great fun trying to figure out just *who* has been reincarnated as *whom* before it's revealed! Crossing one love story with another creates an interesting conflict and a back-story filled with rich history. Fans of both shows should enjoy the nuances Bat works into the story.

Nicely mixing just the right amount of humor into this tale of angst makes it a worthwhile read, as does her willingness to deal with less than ideal endings-highly admirable.

It's a Hat Trick for Nancy! The third story in the Reversal series is just as engaging and imaginative as the first two stories. The Healer is trapped in the depths of a fever, leaving the Warrior at a loss as to how to care for her lover. The fever is actually a trap rather than the symptoms of a simple illness. Callisto has joined forces with Ares to set this trap and it is up to the Warrior to enter the realm of Morpheus to save the Healer.

Before you say "Isn't that just like..." Let me say definitely 'No it isn't!' I love the slant that Nancy has cast on Xena and Gabrielle, with another new tale that will not disappoint.

I was proved wrong. Anna has written an intriguing story about heroes who have become slaves to their adorers and it hits close to home. It really made me sit up and think long and hard about what I’ve done to Xena and Gabrielle in my own fiction, and what I’ve read in others and I have to say - she’s dead on. Sometimes, it seems we delight in abusing our heroines. It’s just as well they’re not real.

Well, in this story, they are, and Xena’s narration - although more verbose for the Warrior we’ve grown used to - is poignant and touching, as she reflects on what she and Gabrielle are put through on a regular basis by both fans and producers (yes, maybe in some cases we’re just as guilty as TPTB for the way we mistreat them - I’ve read stories which are ten times worse than FIN). Her depiction of what they both go through - an the changes it has wrought in Gabrielle in particular - are quite heartbreaking.

And yet amidst all the pain, there is home and togetherness and peace for these two as they snatch a rare moment of privacy before their next ‘assignments’. It’s a lovely story which somehow manages to convey all that has been best and worst in the show and fanfic of Xena;Warrior Princess.

Stephanie Grant is young, in a relationship and starting a new job as a history professor. A picture postcard of today's modern woman. The only thing that could make this less than the ideal, is the arrogant, chain-smoking slob she has to share an office with.

Allison Kendell was hard core, stone cold lawyer. Life tried to make her crash and burn but she took a ninety degree turn away from the power and the money into the sedate and quiet world of a small college. She didn't want or need any complications in her  existence but fate has other ideas that end up twisting her around like a cork screw.

This is one of those wonderful stories that I could cheerfully crawl into and live. The characters are so full of life that they burst right off of the page/monitor. The plot is intelligent with a secondary counterpart that could easily be a delicious story all on it's own, and the love scenes are steamy and breath taking. I could go on and on, but I doubt I could do it justice. I don't just recommend you read it, I insist.

I *never* read gen fic. Ever. If it ain't explicitly alt, I ain't interested. That said, "For Ant of a Nail" is one of my favorite stories. It's got such a goofy premise (no sillier than some of the XWP comedy eps), and is so charmingly written, that I couldn't resist it.

The plot is simple enough. Xena and Gabrielle encounter an old acquaintance of Xena's, a king with designs on a prosperous nearby town. A town which Xena herself, in her warlord days, had tried unsuccessfully to sack, and where she's not likely to be welcomed as she tries to warn them of the impending danger. Aided by an unlikely bunch of cohorts, Xena and Gab formulate a very unusual plan - one that hinges upon an obscure linguistic detail - to save the city.

Along with Lollius's clear style and tongue-in-cheek attitude, what some readers will find especially appealing about this little story is how their mission depends upon Gab and Xena both using their time-honored bard and warrior skills in a nicely egalitarian fashion.

Two, two, two bards in one! And two of my fav bards at that! Am I dreaming? Quick, some one pinch me. Lower. ;~)

Stash is a paranoid, sneering, experimental artiste. Carson is a horny, neurotic, hair consultant. They both have skeletons in their closet that no one in their right mind would claim! Immediately their paths cross and the stalking, er, I mean the hair consulting begins. Underscore this with a supporting cast which includes senior stylist Paolo (bitchy and too fabulous for anyone's own good-God, I love Paolo) and a cameo by Linda Fucking Tripp, and what do you have? Oh my dears, you have pure pop-melodrama of GIGANTIC proportions! A must-be-read-to-be-believed story that left this reader yearning for Chia art, tatted undies, and "down there" hair art.

Now, just because I am president of the Stash and Carson Fan Club does not mean I have *no* objectivity in this matter. I can honestly say, with complete detachment, that like Stash's Chia art, this story will grow on you. So, let us all join hands and sing of Stash and Carson. Let us light our Uber candles at the altar of LN and Viv. Let the cult begin.

This story simply defies my archive of applicable adjectives. Or rather, it utilises all of the good ones, leaving me with scroungy ones like "good" or "fabulous" that are, quite obviously, way too one-dimensional to give this story the credit it deserves.

OK, we have here two of the funkiest, funniest writers in Xenaverse, switching into parody mode, sowing similes that absolutely defy the grammar of the English language, creating two characters as wild as their creators. Read this story, just for the heck of it, or for a mind ride no amount of good weed can provide; this is all I can say to do justice to this story. Bring your own Cheetos.

Fab, darlin'. Ta.

Time for a little irreverent humour.  Wyatt Traishe's "Gabrielle Learns Another Lesson" had me rolling on the floor.

Xena and Gabrielle are visiting Cyrene and Lila in Amphipolis. While waiting tables the bard bowls over a priest resulting in an interesting curse with hilarious results.

Warning this is trashy sexual humour at it's very best. Little people and hard core feminists are best to give it a miss. I promise you will never look at Lila or Argo the same way again!